Here I am, you scumbags.

I'm feeling shut-the-fuck up!

2007-09-07T13:23:00.000-07:00

I wanted to keep this myspace blog, just cuz I took the time to write it. But I didn't want it up anymore. It was a downer.

"Am I "feeling fat"? I'm feeling shut-the-fuck up!

Wow. All day I've seen these new Flash cartoon ads, when I'm signing into Yahoo, that are advertising patches you apply to your skin that are supposed to curb your appetite. "Sit back and let CurbYourCravings do the work for you!" & "Feeling fat? Lose 25lbs by August 31st!" Let's remember, August 31st is only 23 days from now! That would be hideously unhealthy to lose all that weight that quickly.
Anyway, that's all terribly fucked up. I don't know how these people sleep at night when they know that they're taking advantage of the deep sadness and self-loathing of people. And before I go on, let's remember who's talking here. I've had my times of bulk. I was never skinny-skinny, but I blew up once due to hanging out with a stoner, and dating a guy who didn't love me. The heaviest that I ever weighed, in my own recorded history (god knows how much I weighed in periods where I never reached a scale), was 169 lbs in 2003 (I'm 5'3"). I went to Weight Watchers, learned it well & attended all the classes of that "semester". Now, in 2007, I'm down to a steady 130. That's roughly a loss of 40 lbs, after learning how to eat. (By the way, that doesn't mean I always eat right nowadays, so don't scold me in a diner). So it breaks my heart to see the terrible shit that people buy into, due to desperation.
A girl I love very much, who would be classified as a "real woman", once flippantly said to me something about how she was saving up to buy diet pills that would "really work this time". I moved the exclamation point from above my head and said, "What? No you aren't? Oh honey, don't do that! It's a scam!" (or something along those lines). She replied with the claims that the advertisements made - she could eat anything she wanted, and the pills would take care of the fat. This was supposed to shut me up. So I just shut up. I didn't want to press the subject further, she looked like a kid anticipating Christmas. One big, awful, disappointing Christmas.
Back to this ad, that begins with, "Feeling fat?". I know this may be stupid and nit-picky, but I don't even like how they phrased that. Feeling fat? Why can't you just say, "Fat?" Feeling fat is more fucked up. Nicole Richie is feeling fat. I'm feeling fat right now, because I'm all PMS'd up. Haha. I suppose, however, that even if you asked, "Fat?" the girls with poor body images or full-blown eating disorders would answer, "Yeah."
Right now I can't think of a way to end this blog, because thoughts like this have plagued me for years. That's what happens when you're obsessed with the psychology behind advertising and your mom has weighed considerably less than you 3/4ths of your life.

Indy chick

2006-05-24T10:45:00.000-07:00

I doing some freelance graphic design for a t-shirt company that does Indy 500 shirts, etc. That means corny catchphrases, but, eh, oh well.
Original older version:

Final, younger version, (before I deleted fake logos):

Final thingy:

Hot for walking Spellchecks

2006-05-17T06:54:00.000-07:00

Hey hey!
Mikeofottawa mentioned I haven't had a post in over a month. That is true. I got a job. Not an art job or anything, (pout), just a cubicle job for money. That way I can save up to move elsewhere for a real job.
Anyway, I have work soon, so I'll just post a drawing and shut up.
**I didn't build exactly the way I should, so if she's not Preston Blair round, don't complain--I wasn't tryin'!**
It depicts how turned on I get when I have a friend that can spell. Grammar is a plus, but spelling in and of itself is hot.

I'm gettin Rusty

2006-04-12T01:53:00.000-07:00

My friend Rusty (aka Stephanie) is kind of hard to draw because there's not much to exaggerate. She's pretty:

This pic would be a good example, but she went crazy with Photoshop one day:

But I've been wanting to learn how to draw her. So I studied her face and I tried to draw it in different ways, over and over, until I got it.

She and I both want to move to California. I think she wants to do it for the adventure, but I just need to be there for job purposes. And I might go crazy if I stay here much longer. So I wanted to do a drawing of she and I living together....
Here's a sketch of me:

I liked the big eyes on my original sketch of myself, but I shrunk the eyes down a few times because my eyes squint when I smile. My cheeks take over my face. However, now that I see how my face turned out, I kind of wish I had left it with the big eyes. Eh, I dunno.

My cartoon

2006-03-31T01:10:00.000-08:00

***Sorry guys, the night I wrote this post Blogger was having some problems. It looked to me that I hadn't even published the post--and now I see--here it is. Cuz I knew I couldn't get that damn YouTube to work inside of my post, and I was then gonna trash the post. But anyway, here are links.***

So, I finally realized how easy it is to put my animation on the web. I made this three years ago in my last year of college. It is FULL of mistakes and shitty, embarrassing short-cuts, and some bad drawings, but eh, I was a rookie and I had a deadline to meet. Be easy on it.
Here it is, known to my college friends as "Tapeworm", but titled
"The Cellulite Parasite"

http://youtube.com/watch?v=F8tyuI-ol0A

And here are the rest of the little videos I have up there. My reel and Bridget ideos.

http://www.youtube.com/user/IvyB

My Lil' Bridgey

2006-03-24T12:45:00.000-08:00

Check out these pics of my cute little doggy carrying around a baby My Little Pony:

Oh, and I was officially dumped last night. That means more time to draw, so I'll have more stuff up soon.

Argh

2006-03-23T13:46:00.000-08:00

So things have been kind of shitty lately. I've just been trying to concentrate on drawing, but the boyfriend keeps almost breaking up with me. Ignoring that, last night I drew this, blowing up this weird girl's head from my magazine. She looks like an elf.

Weird stuff. But then I thought, "What the hell am I doing? I should be working on cartoony stuff." I guess I'm just having trouble concentrating on anything. This isn't amazing, but it was an attempt at taking a Preston character and placing him in a position I made up. So, yay team.

I've been trying to distract myself from my decaying relationship, and one piece of news I learned yesterday perked me up a little bit. I am 130 lbs right now. That is crazy! To some girls that may not be impressive, but in 2002 I reached 170 lbs. I haven't been 130 since high school. In 2003 I went to Weight Watchers, so now I know how to get things under control. The funny thing is, I haven't been concentrating on it recently. So, I don't understand how this happened. Here's the visual difference:
170...

and 130...

40 lbs and blindingly-red lipstick later :)

Last night

2006-03-22T13:00:00.000-08:00

Hey hey. I listened to American Idol last night while drawing Preston Blair. Sorry, I'm a nerd for that show. (I voted for Paris Bennett and gave another pity-vote to Kelly Pickler). Anyway, at the end of my Preston Blair kick, I let myself do another drawing for fun, but I based it on this beauty flyer thing that came in my boyfriend's mail. There are a few things I don't like about it, but here ya go:

I just bought the new Elle magazine and I can't wait to sit down and draw from it cuz there are some neat fashion segments in there.
Thanks for all the comments lately, you guys. I got one last night from Mel Milton--ghettofab. Wow. So many of you intimidate the hell out of me, and I almost don't comment on your stuff cuz then I think, "Aw shit, that's gonna make him/her look at my stuff."

Hey, look who's been drawing..

2006-03-20T23:42:00.000-08:00

So I finally made myself sit down with my yellow Preston Blair book and draw from it for days. That's pretty much all I did yesterday and today when I had free time. At first I approached it wrong, and it was a pain in the ass. My initial approach was to look at the same characters Preston draws, but then draw them in new positions. Sure, that's a good idea, a ways down the line. But right now I've decided to just copy every freakin drawing in there, and construct them as he says, along the way. That's made it seem a lot easier, and a lot more fun.

Oh, and for all you guys out there that are reading how Johnny K says, "Get the yellow book, not the green one", don't sweat it. He's right, but if you can't find the yellow one, then buy the green one and just study certain pages. Everything from the yellow book is in the green book--there's just way more stuff that you don't need that you can happily ignore. I have both books. One day, when I really decide I love you guys :) I'll just go through the yellow book and write down where the mirror image pages are in the green book. Cuz I don't think they do sell the yellow one anymore, Johnny. I got it on eBay. Book stores figure the other one's newer, and it makes them more money :) cuz it's friggin huge in comparison.

Anyway, here's an idea I came up with to kick myself in the ass, and get myself into it all. Feel free to steal this idea: you know in the beginning of the book when Preston shows you how to let a face on an egg be your guide? Well, I went to Michael's Arts and Craps and bought two wooden eggs and drew the little faces on. Drawing the faces in different positions, trying to achieve perfect perspective actually proves to be a little bit harder than one would think. I was thinking, "Aw this is easy. I can skip this." And, it wasn't horribly difficult, but it was definitely worth doing. Depending on what size egg you get, the prices change a little. But I chose the 79 cent eggs! That's A-okay with me. And, huzzah, I can have my little models forever without them rotting on me.

So, I filled pages upon pages with cutesy animals and weird dogs and stuff. I guess there's no point of showing that progress, cuz I'm just copying his drawings. Buuut, eventually, as incentive, I eventually allow myself to draw fun stuff at the end, just to see if anything is looking different. And this transformation of knowing what the hell I'm doing, and taking an informed way of approaching a drawing is really switching things up. Fun stuff. I'm excited. I made this drawing of me the other day--no big deal:

But tonight I drew one girl that was inspired by the fun, tacky stuff that the girlfriends and wives wear on The Sopranos:

And then I did a different girl, (skank!):

So, that's fun. More soon.

Grrr

2006-03-17T22:44:00.000-08:00

So, right now I'm staying up waiting for my boyfriend to call. Why? I'm not sure. It's almost 2am, and he's at a bar celebrating St.Patty's Day with his friends. Oh, and he's not answering his cell. But HE's the one who doesn't trust ME. My head hurts and I want to stab someone.

I've been obsessed with catching up on The Sopranos. My family has the first 5 seasons on DVD. So, I've been boning up. But watching Carmela and Adrianna run around with their fake nails gave me a hankering for some, even though fake nails are retarded. But now when I try to draw they get in the way. I'll have to take them off. :(

Anyway, here's my Bridgie:

Aside from those photos, this post is pointless. The boyfriend ain't callin'. I'm going to bed.

Oh wait: my mom had a local cop as a patient today. He said he had heard about my DUI, and that I'll end up LOSING MY LICENSE for a month AND being forced to take drug and alcohol classes for a year. So I guess I can't try to move to California for a while. Just kill me. It was my first offense ever!

D.U.Ivy

2006-03-04T21:10:00.000-08:00

Yeah, so, I'm a scumbag now. I got a D.U.I. the other night. It was really traumatic. I've never been arrested before; and they went the whole way to scare the crap out of me. Handcuffs and everything. The bar was just a few miles from my house, and I really was going to be just fine, honest. But I was over the legal limit, so, I am now officially a terrible person. They took me to the E.R., they drew my blood for use in court, read me my rights--the whole deal. I never thought I'd hear, "Okay, you're coming with us. Please turn around and face your car, placing your hands behind your back." CLICK!

I rarely drink; it was just some very bad luck. I wasn't even driving poorly. He pulled me over for my "passenger tail light (being) out". Bored cops.
Now I might have to take drug and alcohol classes... Ohhh my.

My Poor Confused Dog

2006-03-03T20:34:00.000-08:00

So, my female bulldog, Bridget, is now officially in heat. My male bulldog, Dudley, is quite interested in this fact. Sadly, though, bulldogs are built so that they need a breeder's help to have sex. Dudley is infertile, so my family figures, there's no need to help them have sex. We aren't breeders anyway. Dudley is determined to figure out sex on his own, and has been practicing humping the air for quite a while now. Now all he does is lick Bridget like crazy and then try to mount her, air-humping all the while. But the poor guy can't get his pink thing anywhere near Bridgie's little doggie poon. Sad story. Oh, and to top it all off, Bridget is not very interested, and often looks bored to shit. So, I sit and laugh at their misfortune. But, I figured, sounds like a drawing. So, here ya go:

Tattoo Freaks

2006-03-03T19:49:00.000-08:00

I've been checking out lots of different art lately, and it reminds me to bring my sketchbook around more often. I think when I get the equivalent of writer's block with my drawings, it's due to a simple reason: I never remember to check out reference material. So I draw the same type of crap over and over, and I get bored. So lately I've been obsessing over tattoos recently, even though I don't really want any. I mean, hypothetically it sounds fun, but when it comes down to selecting a drawing I'd want to see everyday, it'd be hard, or impossible, to find something. Like most chicks, I have a thing for Alphonse Mucha, (but at least I don't say his fucking name as "Mooch-a", like a rapper I saw on Mtv's CRIBS once), so I tried on his art through Photoshop:
And decided, "Fuck that, I'll just draw tattoo people. I won't be one." So I did stuff like this:

But now I've been collecting tattoo magazines and just having fun with the people inside them. It's just easy to find interesting-looking people in these mags. I actually don't even really deal with drawing the tattoos, so I guess that's kinda stupid.

This woman was so creepy. One of those older women, trying to look young, wearing too much lipliner:

I like the girl with the sunglasses, but the girl on the right sucks. I only left her on cuz I liked her hair. Her face is all fucked up.

So, yeah, that's been the past 2 days.

The Spumco Crew

2006-03-03T19:41:00.000-08:00

Well hey youse guys! Considering I started this blog so I could comment on Johnny K and Jose Pou's blog, I guess this should be the area for my artwork and junk like that. But that idea intensely intimidates me, for I am forever in awe of the Spumco team, and Johnny himself, so I think I'd rather sit on my own artwork. Conversely, I DID go to freaking college for animation, so I should probably share stuff. When I made friends with Johnny in 2002, though, I found out how gypped I was in college: how many basic things they didn't go over. I just learned about Gertie the dinosaur type stuff, that Disney has it's enemies, how to impersonate Tim Burton's stop action, and how to throw shit together in Adobe After Effects. Pretty much, anyway; there may be a few more tiny points I learned. However, when I got to talking to Johnny K, he pretty much outlined to me everything that's wrong with, well, everything, (opinions that were always quite welcome), and one of those things were how animation is taught. He once referred to "line of action". I did the dog's-head-to-one-side expression of, "Huh?" and he said, "They didn't teach you that?!?!"... and so began my list of what I didn't know. Here's a picture from when I met Johnny K in 2002:

And here's a party in 2003, (we both look tired and/or surly):

Oh! And here's an odd phenomenon! Jose Pou and I had clone felines. Check it out:

And here's a picture from that same time period, with me licking some monkey.

Other Spumco people I remember: Julia, Eric Bauza, Helder, Mike Kerr, Tom Hay, and I vaguely remember a guy named Max, and a guy named James. Eric Bauza is so wonderful. He could dropkick Billy West any day of the week. He can even play the theme to the old NES game, Bubble Bobble, on a keyboard. It's pretty wicked. :) I have it on video. All the guys from my University of the Arts animation crew were in love with Eric, and I think they ran into him recently at a party in California..

More later. Buy my t-shirts: www.cafepress.com/ivyb (shameless self-promotion)
((When I created my blog on here, I, at first, created two by accident. So this is a repost from the blog I deleted. Originally, the wonderful Katie Rice had commented:
"Katie said...
Wow, you're so cute!! Both your blogs have great photos!11:43 PM "
but the comment was erased cuz I erased that blog. But look, I saved it. Yay.

P.S. Here's a photo I forgot about, from 2002:

Here's me and here are my doggies

2006-02-24T11:27:00.000-08:00

<--That's my baby Bridget! Well hello, friends and skanks. Ivy B has got her own blog. Wow, I still hate that word. Blog. That's almost as annoying as LOL, which by the way, I always choose to read as "Low'll". Anyway, howzit going? I actually made this posting by mistake, cuz I am new to Blogger, so I'm just filling it with something. La la la.

Bridget is one of 2 English Bulldogs I have. I also have a Border Collie. He is loved, but annoying.

To my repulsion, Bridget seems to be having her period right now, because she is about to be in heat. Oh, don't want to hear about my dog's menstral blood? Well, I have to clean it up, so you're gonna hear about it.

Here's Toby and Dudley:

And Dudley and I on an adventure:

Here's a cartoon of my dogs and I. I was mimicking the style of Ovi Nedelcu, so I just gave the girl my hair and eye color. I didn't really care if she looked a lot like me. Although I did make sure she had thighs :)